Friday, May 9, 2014

penumbra (throwback)

July 4, 2013 at 8:29pm

[i've been on the brink of discovery for quite some time now.

tired and trying for release, but now that i'm numb,

debased, and bordering all the places i run from

i find that you're fallible, but positively untouched.

you resist, but please return.]

i'm feeding magpies and romancing red wines and deadlines.

i'm reading headlines and forcing myself into feeling

all these secondhand emotions,

and i'm bent at the mouth.

i've sentenced myself to an evening out without fiery skies,

with water on tap

and the only words i know

are the cornerstone of mistrust.

wishing myself dressed so smartly for this level of dishonesty,

but i'm divided like a triptych,

watching myself face by face by face and feeling

positively libertine

in the tawdry incandescent bar light.

my heavy head and hands are running up the walls,

and i cast away all my promises with the tramontane,

i could curl up on this spurious stone and beg change,

but i'm not spurred to do anything but turn a phrase

and expose myself to the tides of streetlights

turning red and green in shade of night.

i'm riding punctuated white lines and romancing better times

and illustrating the intangible with words and half rhymes

i'm contemplating coping words an forcing myself

into speeding just over the limit

all these secondhand roads

and i'm bent at the mouth.