love, travel, hedonism, indulgence, sodomy, and interpersonal connectedness.
Must love dogs. Must love travel. Must have rational, foundational
hatred of at least one (1) major institution or demographic.
Blase OK, bourgeois OK, Agnostic ++. Skeptic ++. Cynic ++.
Co-dependents need not apply.
Must be able to supply own personal entertainment during down times.
Sense of humor is a must.
Do you love to travel? Do you love to receive oral sex on other people's furniture, in other people's homes? Do you think hotels are cozy? Do you think long walks on the beach encourage people to diminish their personal sense of efficacy and self-worth? Do you gaze into full moons and compose dirges hailing the wolves of the north? Could you pen a compendium of instructions to create a devastating sense of self-loathing? Do you like hyphens, ellipses, and ... Oxford commas? Have you ever been asked a seemingly endless array of questions and answered holy fuck, yes! to all of them?
Look no further! We've found the man for you.
Do you seek fully-grown, reckless adult children to fill the mirthless void that is your life? I've got the guy.
No tethers to hold him here, just waiting for the proper mode of egress. No ties to bind, no mouths to mind, no cables to keep this trolley car anchored - Free to roam from city to city until something suitable plays its tune to you!
Looking for love in all the right places? Stop.
We've found him.
*Some restrictions apply. Man not available in all areas. Please contact vendor for details.
Side effects may include loss of time perception, inability to control language, fearsome lust for knowledge, and minor rashes.